The Science of Saying Yes: What Happens in Your Brain When You Choose Growth to Overcome Fear

As I was writing Yes Is Greater Than Fear, I dove deep into the research on fear. And let me tell you—it’s sneaky. Fear will convince you to stay small, keep you stuck in places that drain you, and make you miss some of the greatest opportunities of your life.

Why is it that some people seem fearless while the rest of us break out in hives at the thought of speaking up in a meeting? Spoiler alert: the answer isn’t that they’re braver—it’s that their brains are running a different play.

Here’s what’s really happening:

Your amygdala—the little almond-shaped cluster in your brain—acts like an overzealous bodyguard. Its job is to keep you safe. When something unfamiliar shows up, it blows the whistle, flashes the red lights, and yells, “Stop! Danger ahead!” That’s when your palms sweat, your heart pounds, and your mind starts scripting the perfect escape route. And sure, that’s helpful if you’re facing down a bear in the woods. But most of us aren’t dodging lions, tigers, or bears on the regular. More likely, your amygdala is overreacting to… I don’t know, giving a toast at your cousin’s wedding.

On the other side of the equation is your prefrontal cortex—your calm, rational teammate. It’s the one saying, “Hey, let’s think this through. Maybe we don’t need to fake a fainting spell to get out of this.” This is the part of your brain that helps you weigh your options and whispers, “You’ve got this,” when you step outside your comfort zone.

So how do you keep your amygdala from hogging the mic? Practice. Like anything else worth doing, it comes down to repetition.

When an invitation or opportunity makes your chest tighten, that’s your cue. Instead of running, practice calming your body first. Try a few deep breaths. Take a short walk. Do a quick meditation. Once your heart stops trying to launch out of your ribcage, you can actually make a choice—one that comes from clarity instead of panic.

Every time you pause, calm yourself, and then move forward, you create a new synapse in your brain. And every time you say “yes” in spite of fear, that synapse gets stronger. Over time, your brain learns to call on your prefrontal cortex instead of handing the wheel to your amygdala. That's when you begin to overcome fear.

Here’s the truth: sitting in the same old stuck place feels easier in the moment. But it’s a trap. The leap into something new always looks scarier than it really is, but it’s the leap that leads to growth, freedom, and a bigger life.

So here’s my challenge to you this week: do one thing that scares you. Just one.

Because bravery isn’t about having no fear. Bravery is about feeling fear—and saying “yes” anyway.

---

On a side note...the picture above is of my college roommate. She is someone that most people would consider fearless. I've always thought of her that way. She has taken leaps of faith over and over, throughout her life. I remember when she left Texas for California with no money, no car, no place to live...nothing but an acceptance to UC Riverside for a Master's/PhD program. She just knew that everything would work out. And it did. That doesn't mean it was easy. She's faced adversity over and over in her life. But she kept leaping. She kept growing. She kept practicing saying Yes. And spoiler, things did work out. Her life is big, beautiful, full of joy, love, peace and abundance.