Imposter Syndrome

There’s a Women In Business Summit in Granbury, TX that I’ve had the joy of attending since moving back to the area. The first year I saw the event posted on Facebook, I really wanted to go—but let’s be honest, I didn’t have a business, I didn’t know a soul, and I wasn’t even sure how to introduce myself without tripping over my own tongue.

The only thing I had going for me was that my brother ran the venue. He was literally my security blanket. If I felt awkward, I could hover near him and pretend I was “helping.” If I had a panic attack, I knew I could disappear into his office and catch my breath. Honestly, if he hadn’t been there, I probably would’ve said no.

That first Summit was hard. The only person I recognized in the entire room was the woman who owned the Pilates studio where I took classes. I introduced my brother to her and called that my big win of the day. The next year I knew a handful more people, but I still didn’t have a business, and I still felt like the awkward outsider in a small town full of women who all seemed to know each other—and who, let’s be real, are forces of nature. But by then I had started what I call my Year of Yes, so when my brother asked if I was going, my answer was exactly that: yes.

Each year got a little easier. And then this summit was a whole different story. Over the past twelve months I’ve said yes to more invitations and opportunities, many of them tied to showing up for my community. I sat at a table near the back of the room and when I looked around, I realized - I knew more than half the women in attendance.

Some were women my brother had introduced me to. Some I’d met through my boyfriend. Some I’d connected with simply by saying yes and showing up to things I once would’ve skipped. Somewhere along the way, I went from standing on the sidelines to being part of the circle.

And here’s the funny part: I’ve been a writer for nearly five years, but I never used to tell people that. I’ve been a speaker for almost two decades, but I never mentioned the fact that I’ve stood in front of audiences of 450 people. Imposter syndrome has a sneaky way of shrinking us.

One of the presenters this year admitted she felt the same thing starting her business. She knew she had the skills, but still felt like an imposter. Those doubts that whisper “Who do you think you are?”—they’re universal. Even the women we admire most have battled them.

Sitting there, listening, looking around at these incredible women I now get to call part of my community, my heart swelled with gratitude. This journey hasn’t been easy. Losing a spouse reshapes your life in ways you can’t possibly anticipate. But along the way, there have been moments of joy I wouldn’t trade for anything.

The greatest gift has been this: I’ve learned that saying yes to the unknown is scary, but the rewards are bigger than anything fear ever promised to protect me from. Over and over again, the Yeses have been greater than the fear. The theme of this year's summit? Embracing the Uncomfortable to Thrive.